The Sozzled Mumble

Here we go with another book. The 13 and a half lives of Captain Bluebear by Walter Moers and is 703ish pages long. Lets see how long this one takes.

I learnt today that banana's are ripe when then turn green - when they turn yellow that's them actually going off but this is how people like to eat them.

The wedding was really lovely - didn't listen to what was being said at the vows because I would've cried which would have been embarassing. So it went a little like: "La, la, la, la, helen daniels from neighbours dying, la, la, la, a puppy born with a lame leg, la, la, la, the wispa never being made again....and all sorts of other sad stuff to take my mind off the lump in my throat."

A lot of the day was spent fending off people going on about when I'm getting married. "you'll be next" "where one twin goes the other usually follows" (im going out with a twin....) blah blah shut-up assholes. With my sisters wedding coming up it can only get worse. I guess it all begs the question......when am I getting married? Do I even want to? Mmmmm, think so. Oh bugger.

Quick change the subject....watching Terminator 1 which has Linda Hamilton in it who I think is a great actress. She's just spent $4.50 to get into a club!! That about £2!! She's also next in the hunt for Sarah Connor......oooooh whats gonna happen next??? Arnie's good in this as well.

Ah, relax-ay-voo-ing in a fancy hotel for this wedding tomorrow - all the more sweeter for the fact that I'm paying for none of it!

Pretty stressful day today - had a doctors appointment for a pink looking raised area on my neck - nobule-like if you will. It went something like this:

My hands were actually sweating, which I thought only ever happened in films, and my heart was thudding. I've had this little nobule (which I am sure is a real medical word) for a couple of weeks and has been a little itchy, it hasn't decreased (or increased for that matter) in size or colour. I was called in by a lovely cuddly looking asian man probably in his fifties. This man looked a bit like santa so I knew straight away that his opinion would be correct - a mis-diagnosis at the stage would really upset my week.

"How can I help." Said Santa.

Sweeping my hair back (I have very nice hair) I said, "I've had this pink looking rasied area on my neck for about two weeks. It doesn't hurt or anything but it itches a bit."

"Mmmm." He says.

(WHAT THE FUCK'S THAT MEAN??!!) Sweat's actually thinking about parachuting off my fingers and my heart ducks for cover.

"The problem here is...." (WHAT!! PROBLEM!! - but you look like santa!)
"...is working out whether this is a viral infection or a fungal infection."

Ahhhh, INFECTION - so where's the problem?? I've already had the viral infecton years ago where you throw up and stuff so this must be the other. Obviously.

"Does anyone in your family have Psoriasis?" (had to look up the spelling of that one)

"No" I say.....ahem....

"I'll give you a cream which you need to put on 3 times a day for at least 3 weeks. Come back and see us if it's still there. This is contagious so dont share towels and try not to touch it too much"

Phew. This all sounds reasonable. I can deal with an infection. (Then I had to go and ask the question.)

"Soooo, its just an infection.....so.....it's nothing......crazy then?"

In his lovely accent he says, "What do you mean by crazy?"

"Er...it's not cancer or anything?" Bloody hell, I really am not this hysterical. But I am neurotic. Damn. i could feel that this santa doc was desperately trying to surpress rolling his eyes.

"No, its not cancer, nothing like cancer." So I thanked him and I could tell he would tut and shake his santa head the moment I left his room.

So there we have it - got my cream which is Canesten - which if I am not mistaken is cream what you use on thrush. Great. I have neck thrush.

Holy Rath,

Cringe on the tram - too many goth looking bodies on the tram and I couldn't get out - the doors started to beep before I had the chance. GAH! Cringe.......its not a big deal but bloody hell!!

Anyway, off to a wedding tomorrow which is due to last all weekend by all accounts. Should be quite good seeing as I'm not paying for anything! Woo! Get to stay in a nice fancy hotel as well...hopefully with internet access. Have only been doing this blog thing for a couple of weeks but I find myself thinking about it all the time and what Im going to write. Also becoming fascinated by other people's lives and what they're up to.

Stir-fry for tea

The final insult - that evil musketeer Rafa Benitez, not content on wrecking EVERYTHING by selling MY Luis Garcia, is now going around sniffing out some player called JAVI GARCIA........This is just too much.

Also, had a bit of an argument over shoes for my sisters wedding.

Also, I don't think I know how to spell Musketeer - that really doesn't look right.

Rhianna is also 24 - so they're both wrong

Just worked out how to put a picture on my profile - after a week and a half of doing this - what a fucking amateur!!
Might change it to something else - though I do love those potato heads.

Ah Good,

Finished The Lies of Locke wotsit Saturday morning about 8am just as the postman delivered my Harry Potter! Woo-Hoo! Spent most of Saturday and all of today reading HP - finished that one about half hour ago so I can now return to civilisation and face any HP Hater's on Monday in work with FULL knowledge that they cant spoil it for me with any plot reveals.

Oh, I've gone awash with sadness there that I'll not read any more HP ever again. How sad.

Managed to get dress for wedding next week but not shoes yet. Crap.

Have done bugger all, all day but this book.

Page 412 of Lies of etc etc - 118 to go before Saturday.

Page 266 of Lies of etc etc - 264 to go before Saturday.

Email in work from the boss requesting 'volunteers' to work a 3 day shift rather than the current 4 - this is full time as well. Funnily enough not everyone jumped at the prospect of work, sleep, work, sleep, work, sleep - the 4 days off were a little tempting but im knackered after a 10 hour day so I dont think i'll 'volunteer.'

A drunk person accosted my boyfriend today asking for money. Obviously a self-conscious drunk he apologised for having bad breath. "The Polish (as in Pole People not Mr Muscle) made drink the beer" he said.

Page 167 of Lies of etc etc - 363 to go before Saturday.

Must put this down before I forget:

My theory on the whole Harry Potter thing is that I think he WONT die like everybody says so - I think he will in fact murder Ron and end up either running the show along side Voldemort or end up in Azkban for the rest of his days!

sorry if ive ruined it.

(or he'll die with Voldemort - which is another plausible ending)

(or he wont die at all, and neither will anyone else and that Voldemort turns out to be Dumblebore so turns good - another plausible ending)

Pretty tired - working long hours but I get every Friday off which is quite good.

Bumped into some-one I hadn't seen for a while and it was one of those horrible moments filled with awkward silences and repeated questions - she asked me 4 times how I was?! To which I finally said "Well I'm not thinking of topping myself if that's what you mean" - and she still didn't get the hint to just walk on. Oh well.

Booked our Barcelona trip last night. Yes! Now have about 6 weeks to get rid of a little bit of flabby flab and i'll be set. Probably go bike riding and to the Nou Camp (spelt wrong I think) and down that Ramblas place and gawp at all the sexy spaniards.

Page 140 of Lies of etc etc - 390 to go before Saturday. Crap.

What the hell's going on here??
Only joined this blog site a few days ago and it changes just as I was getting used to it. Change is not good as they say here in Yorkshire. Could be under water again shortly as its pissing it down.

Can't work out how to get a picture onto my profile thing which is farcical since I work with computers and graphics and all that kind of thing.

On page 140 of Lies of etc etc - 390 to go before Saturday. I. CAN. DO. THIS!

Crap,

Only managed 3 pages of The Lies of Locke etc etc before I fell asleep. Again. Determined to get through this book - since I've ordered The 13 (and a half) Lives of Captain Bluebear, Sweet Heart, The Book With No Name, Ice Moon and of course, the last Harry Potter from Amazon. Said I wouldn't buy anything from Amazon until pay day in over a week....never mind.

Objectives for next week 16/07/07:

Buy dress and shoes for a wedding in a couple of weeks
Buy bridesmaid shoes for sisters wedding (GAH!! everyone's getting married!)
Book some time off work so we can go to Barcelona/go to my sisters wedding
MUST. FINISH. THAT. DAMN. BOOK.

I think thats all I need to do, apart from go to work.
Getting the hang of this.

Mood:

Today I will be mostly:

Reading The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch - its one of those fantasy type books where there are lines like: "The Kingdom of the Seven Marrows" and " The Canton of Emberlain is peripheral to the major conflict. But the Graf von Emberlain and the Black Table are both working....." Now on the second chapter - it has taken 4 weeks to get this far.

Thinking about wedding gifts - why is everyone I know getting married lately? - and also wedding outfits.

Filling out a pension form - I am now officially ancient.

The cooker switch broke a little.

Ron came round to fix it. "I'm not an electrician." He said, which reassured me that my cooker was in good hands and that we wouldn't go up in smokes. I said, "You need to jiggle the switch a little for it to come on." He came with 3 tool boxes, of which he used none.

After a few minutes he said, "What you need to do is jiggle the switch a little for it to come on."

"Right........." I said.

"Oh, it's not dangerous. It's muggy outside. I'll tell the landlord and get them to get an electrician round. See you love."