The Sozzled Mumble

Have just spent the last 2 days whirlwinding around town trying to find something suitable to wear for a wedding I'm going to tomorrow.

I am crap at shopping, especially dress shopping, so I HAD to hit the ground running yesterday after work. Topshop was first and whilst feverishly grasping at every dress in there, the fella kept calling my name and holding up either stupid t-shirts or hideous dresses I would never wear in hell. I HAD to put him in his place, remind him who I was and what I was like at shopping and he soon stopped.....before holding up a t-shirt with a scotty dog on it. Jeez.

There were 3 contenders - 2 of which wouldn't have fit a child never mind a 31 year old woman. The 3rd was my fav and was from a Japanese designer so was v. cool. Only problem for me was that it revealed a little cleavage. Not baps swinging out in your face type of cleavage, just a tiny bit. Now, I'm funny about cleavage. I don't like people thinking that I think I'm all potato chips and coleslaw.....but I thought sod what other people think, I love it so buy it.

However, the cleavage issue kept me up all night so I was off again round town looking for tops and trousers......sweaty and frizzy haired later I couldn't find anything and decided the dress I bought was fate. If something's meant to be, tis meant to be baby. Plus, it's not really that cleavagey really.

MY SISTER IS IN LABOUR!!!!!!!

She texted me yesterday saying how pissed off she was because the midwife said that she thought she'll be late by 2 weeks.....well, that was a load of crap wasn't it??

This time tomorrow I could be an auntie. Yeeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Roasted. That is what I am tonight.

TOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!

After what was a depressing day Friday, my faith in customer relations was restored after my make-up lesson/wedding make-up trial yesterday morning.

It was a short drive into the pretty little suburb of Dore. On the way we passed what can only be described as Mansion Row. My god, I didn't realise there was such wealth practically on my doorstep. (Had to have a look in the estate agents window for the cheapest property round here and we found a 2-bed ground floor flat for £155,000 - which isn't too bad but we couldn't afford it)

I've never had a make-up lesson before so was apprehensive from the start - especially after my hideous experience with dick-head hairdresser. Anyway, as soon as I arrived I was greeted by a lovely cheery lady who sat me down and started chatting away as if we had been old school friends. She gave me some great advice along the way and I bought some of the foundation - I think I have been using the wrong shade for ages.

What a difference it makes to exchange a few words and I came out feeling much pampered and loved. It was also cheaper than I expected. Result.

Well, got my haircut by a boy. And. I left the salon feeling unloved and unwanted

I'm usually one of those 'once bitten' types of people but for some reason I thought I'd go back to the same salon, but this time get some-one else to cut my hair. The first time I went the hairdresser barely spoke to me. Now, chatting to your client is something I am used to when I go to the hairdressers, and I am sure I am not the only one. So, I decided it was a nice cut and maybe she was having an off day. No, I think it's the salons policy NOT to chat???

He asked me how I was, then I don't know what I did to offend him between getting my hair washed (by a dour-faced cow) and the first cut, but he didn't pip up until he started drying my hair. The whole while I was getting more and more depressed. I LIKE to talk shit with my hairdresser. I think talking is part of the price. We did start speaking, but only about my hair, but it was too little too late. Shame really as he gave me some good advice saying I'd suit a fringe (!!!) and I should use some souffle (sort of sticky cream stuff, not the desert) AND my hair looks wicked....better than I have ever had before.

Won't be back.

In brighter news saw Gordon Ramsey today filming in town. He's doing a Hells Kitchen thing in one of the bars that I have eaten in. I have to say, I think he's much needed. I walked across the road with him......well about a metre from him....good job it wasn't Jamie Oliver....I wouldn't have been able to contain myself by shouting twat at him.

Only got 4 hours sleep last night and I have been surprisingly chipper all day.

The brain had a light switched on for most of the night which was annoying. I think it was because the nights have started to get warmer. Hopefully will get some proper winks tonight. Which means no BB as it finishes at 11pm.

Getting my hair cut on Friday by a man. This has never happened to me. Always a woman and always with great results (not mentioning my perm-phase when I was 12) so I am both excited and nervous. What will we talk about?

Had a very stressful few moments there. I don't wish to talk about it other than it involved Ryanair & evil internet connection.

Anyway, I think it has been resolved for me.

In brighter news. I got home and received a cheque from the inland revenue for the time I was unemployed and had paid too much tax for the year. Yeeeeee-Haaaaaaaa. Now, should it go in the New York Honeymoon Fund? Or the Jacket & Shoes That I Have Recently Seen In H&M & Schuh Fund?

Mmmmm. Decisions, decisions.....

Now me bloody post won't....er....post. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE????

Midsomer Murders 8pm makes me go

Trying to find a nice hymn for my wedding.

I really love Amazing Grace so will probably have that even though it makes me bawl like a child.

Any churchy bloggers out there who could recommend another one that I could use, OR as the title suggests any blogger that can recommend a churchy blogger?? Phew!

In my haste to get back on line and do all the exciting internet things that I have been missing, I forgot to wish my blog a Happy Blog Birthday which was on Sunday.

So, Happy Birthday to The Sozzled Mumble. Still not sure why I named it that. And I am totally positive that I WILL go pro and get lots of sexy graphics.....totally positive about that.

.......well......sort of.

I have been in no-internet hell for the past 5 days. It has been a traumatic, horrific, vomit inducing few days. That's right!!! Vomit. Although that part was probably more down to going out on Saturday night.

I don't want to bore you with why and how the internet bogged off other than to say it may or may not have been my fault. Needless to say the drought is over. I am email/ebay/facebook and now blog quenched. Is being back online better than sex?? I couldn't say although I am thrilled to back with you all.

In news. My wedding shoes have arrived and my heels slip out the back when I walk. Hmmmm. I love how these shoes look as well. I have practised walking up and down and they don't slip without tights. However, with tights I found that if I walked like a Nazi then they stick firm. Visually, I'm not sure that would go down too well. I have 2 days to decide whether to keep or send back. In-soles anyone??

My bridesmaid came over on Saturday and she tried on some dresses from Coast. Oh dear. The dresses fit until the zip reached the breast area. Unfortunately her magnificent bosoms fought the restriction. In any other universe or situation this would be great news but not this time. Bummed out we went out to an Indian restaurant and had some whiskey shandies in a couple of pubs. Not a successful day but any time I can spend with her is great.

Now, what's everyone been doing?

Internet connection has broke and we don't know how to fix it.

Using a friends mac for now.

This is not good as I'm in the car so can't concentrate. We're off to try on bridesmaid dresses today. Got me wedding shoes yesterday and my feet keep slipping out the back. Great.

I'm not able to do this whilst hurttling down the motorway.

Help.

Sold my Tommy & Kate bag on e-bay for £15.09. Yee-ha. Used the bugger once and has been sitting around the house for about 2 years so glad to see it shifted.

Didn't sell my Eeyore, colouring book & pencils or my slippers. Can't win them all. But I've made about £35 from stuff I probably would've chucked out anyway.

What else, my blog birthday on Sunday so will have to upgrade to some fancy graphics I think to celebrate.

Erm....feeling a little

Just watched The Omen & The Exorcist for the first time today. I snoozed.

Failing miserably in my surviving on £10 a week thingy. Had to buy some pain killers at £3.99 and a prescription for my inhaler - NHS now charging £7.10 I also went round the shops whilst the boys had their suit fitting for the wedding. They arsed around (including dad-in-law-to-be, in fact he was worse) which annoyed me greatly. I resisted buying anything (wavered at the box set of Dexter at £27 - but only because I knew it was a tenner cheaper on Amazon).

Must go and make gravy for our tea.